What's the best thing about Switzerland? I don't know, but their flag is a huge plus.

 

 

 

"This is your captain speaking, AND THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SHOUTING."

 

 

 

I told my doctor that I broke my arm in two places. He told me to stop going there.

 

 

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

 

 

 

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

 

 

 

I hate Russian dolls...so full of themselves.

 

 

 

I went on a once in a lifetime holiday. Never again.

 

 

 

Exaggerations went up by a million percent last year.

 

 

 

They all laughed when I said I wanted to be a comedian. Well, they're not laughing now.

 

 

 

I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.

 

 

 

I was wondering why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets.... then it hit me.

 

 

 

Where do you find a horse with no legs? Right where you left it.

 

 

 

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be...

 

 

 

 

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