Jokes

 

 

 

 

 

Photographer: My secret of success is? 'Think negative'!

 

Him: I kiss my Wife everyday before I leave for Office, what about you?
Me : Me too, after you leave!!

 

The doctor comes out into the waiting room for the next patient. He's shocked to see a man sitting there with a frog growing out of his head. The doctor's cries, "Oh my god, how did that happen?"
The frog answered "I don't know; it began as a pimple on my but-t."
 

 

I think...therefore, I'm.... single!
 

 

 Doctor asks: How's your headache?
Patient: She is fine!
 

 

Mack: What sign were you born under?
Silky: No Parking!

 

 

Fastest mode of communication - Tell a girl a rumor and take promise to keep it as a secret.
 

 

I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

 

Only in math problems can you buy 50 watermelons and nobody asks what the hell is wrong with you.

 

Mother-in-law is a woman who destroys her son-in-law's peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
 

 

The number one problem in our country is apathy, but who cares!
 

 

By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

 

Yeah officer, I saw the "speed limit" sign, I just didn't see you!

 

I love mankind–It’s people I can’t stand.
 

 

The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it
 

 

A man was complaining to a friend: "I HAD IT ALL - MONEY, A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE, THE LOVE OF A BEAUTIFUL WOMAN, THEN POW! IT WAS ALL GONE." "WHAT HAPPENED?" asked his friend. He says "MY WIFE FOUND OUT."

 

 

 

 

 

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